Reading This Blog is a Health and Safety Risk

At the bottom of the road on which I live in Sheffield there is a school. It is housed in a steep-roofed Victorian house, and has a few trees in the yard, and a painting of a tubby mermaird on the wall. Generations of local inhabitants have passed through its door, and it is something of an established institution. Skinnytoes went to school there, as did his dad. Who once was telling me about the walking trips he used to take with his class at primary school. Up to thirty ten year old kids, plus one male teacher, would head out on full-day trips into the Peak District. And not to walk along the river in an orderly line, or to skip around in a well-fenced field - they would climb up Jacob's Lader and head accross the peaty labirynth that is the moor to the Kinder Downfall, eat their snap, and head back to town well after dark. He remembers those trips fondly.

Currently our neighbour sends her son to the same school. There has been quite a bit of snowfall recently, but the school yard remained strangely quiet - no snowball fights, no snowmen, no snow angels. The kids were kept inside, in case they slipped, strained their ankle, and their parents sued the school for child neglect.

What is wrong with this picture?

The outsourcing of responsibility. Overprotectiveness. Vicious litigation. They have become characteristic of the British society. On the underground, on the train, in cafes, you're forever bombarded with information about potential 'hazards'. 'Please take extra care while at the station as surfaces are wet and may be slippery' - I can just hear the voice repeating this message every thirty seconds at the train station, and it makes me unwell. Recently I have read a science fiction book in which the society reaches such a level of personal liability paranoia that law firms cover entire cities with CCTV cameras which constantly monitor the citizens. As a result every human interaction is bound by a strict etiquette, there is no spontaneity, and no sincerity, unless apropriate contracts are signed. No one ever gets their feelings hurt, no one is at any danger, at any time.

The Health and Safety pandemic is just one more sign of a fear-fuelled - and fear-fed - society. Consider the two web-pages I came across today. Kudos if you can spot which one is the spoof.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Dealingwithemergencies/Preparingforemergencies/index.htm

I especially recommend the booklet:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_176618.pdf

'If you find yourself in the middle of an emergency, your common sense and instincts will usually tell you what to do.' But in case they don't, we give you this booklet. Priceless.

For a more sensible take on the subject, see

http://www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk/index.htm

They also have a booklet. It's much better.

http://www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk/booklet/general.htm

And remember, if you're house has just been hit by a nuclear weapon, your children are being eaten by aliens and your curtains don't match your carpet, STAY CALM AND CARRY ON. And read the booklet.